Football Season

I don't really watch or cheer much for our local football teams, even though my Ol' Country Descendents went to all three of them. I went to an engineering school in Western Pennsylvania that had an almost club level football team where the members played well, and often played for fun. After being inculcated with the difficulties of learning engineering (of any kind) I have come to the conclusion that any school that has an NCAA IA football team, although they can produce some good shirt-sleeve engineers, they can't really produce really good engineers.

So here is the best football cheer my school produced (that is clean):

E to the x dydx
E to the y dy
Cosine, secant, tangent, sine
3.14159
Square root, cube root, log of e
Watercooled slipstick
C I T

Failures MTBF and MTTF

The OCB has had a tough week so far. The OCG's koi fish pond pump impeller failed. The log splitter shreaded a Lovejoy spider. Our M-60 tank proof front gate has taken one too many hits by turnarounds. It was also attacked by a burglar that unsuccessfully tried to disconnect the mechanism. My smallest chainsaw gave up the ghost after 14 years after I tried a new batch of saw gas with a systhetic oil. That batch of gas also killed my brand new saw and I had to replace the carburator.

It is all Bush' s fault. It's all Obama's fault. Or, if the truth were known, It's all my own fault.

The pump failure was for a Savio solids pump that was supposed to stand up to some pond solids. I don't know if this includes the odd cottonmouth water moccasin and a few young Koi. Still the Savio company does not advertise repair parts and a local pond maintainer is going to try to get a new impeller. Easy to replace - unscrew the old one and screw on the new on.

The log splitter failure was on a very reliable OLD Montgomery Ward splitter. The cylinder hold downs kept failing and letting the hydraulic cylinder push back or to the side. This engineering genius got tired of this and put a block of 2" x 4' behind the cylinder. When the hold downs failed, the cylinder pushed the hydraulic pump shaft out of alignment and the Lovejoy coupling spectacularly failed. Of course, I found out about this when the OCG, who was splitting wood, told me she didn't think the splitter was working.

The chain saw had been kept running by squrting a little oil into the cylinder and cranking away. After a little smoke it ran just fine for a while. Please note, I have a 30" He-Man saw, a 22" alpha male/female saw, a 16" girly saw, and a 14" OCG saw. All Stihl! I've had the other junk and they are good for a season, maybe. Well, my daughter-in-law, an alpha female, was using one of the girly saws to cut a dead pine tree when she (not her but the saw) ran out of gas. I put in the newly made up sawgas with the synthetic oil and it would not even begin to start. I gave her the next larger girly saw and noted that it only had half a tank. I gassed it up with the new mixture and it ran for about two minutes before quitting, not to start. She then picked up the 22" alpha female saw and finished the job toute suite. The next day, the Stihl dealer said "you did what???!!!" Of course, me being the honest and competent engineer that I am, I blamed it on the OCG.

Now we get to my tank-proof gate. It seems that in Oklahoma, drivers don't know how to make a U-turn at the end of a road without hitting things - like my mailbox and gate. I have had a couple of celebrating young high school girls drive off my almost cliff, being caught by the attached trees. Of course, they had no trouble getting back up to the road with a bunch of boys around with hormones flowing.

Over the last couple of weeks, my gate had been hit hard enough to knock the reflective eyes off my bull head cutout. (great sight for a night-time turn around).

When this happens, my gate, driven by a GTO Mighty Mule opener gets out of "time" and has to be reset. Eventually, the whole mechanism deteriorates badly. This is my third mechanism, and I have talked to the factory repair people about a fix on damaged components. They tell me that they don't really don't try to repair them. If they are in warranty, they just replace the card or mechanism. Of course, that is a hell of a problem if it is not in warranty. One of my local dealers has tried to get someone qualified to repair normal illuse and abuse as occurs on a farm. I need to check back and see if they found anybody. I do think the GTO Mighty Mule company needs to take more responsibility for after-market problem, not in warranty. I am ambivalent about recommending this product to others just for this reason. I do admit that is seems to be a good product, but it was designed by engineering idiots.

Which brings me to mean time between failure (MTBF) and mean time to failure (MTTF). None of these equipments failed through normal use, but we have all had items fail, typically, one week out of warranty.

I think all electrical or mechanical devices, costing over some minimum amount (say $500 - $1000) ought to be required by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) or a consensus trade organization (ASTM, IEEE, NEMA, ...) to have published MTBF and MTTF data, along with their uncertainty and confidence levels. That would put Consumers Reports out of business. Your automobile should have MTBF or MTTF figures published. We could have laws (bite my tongue!) that base warrantys on failures before MTTF, with all the costa reimbursed for products failing two sigma before MTTF.s

Our Mule was Hijacked

Today, the Old Country Girl was out at the wood pile on her Kawasaki mule.When she tried to get back on, she was confronted with a hijacking. Gustafus Adolfus (Gus) took the drivers seat, Wellington called shotgun, and King Henry was left to wonder what happened.

I was going to include the abominable editorial by Paul Krugman of the fishwrap of record, new york times, but it won't link. It can be found at Hor Air. He has blamed the people of The United States for the 9/11 WTC destruction. He says we deserve it for mistreating all those third world goody-goody muslims (now known a "ragheads"), and that Rudy Guilini and President Bush are false heros. He also allowed no comments.

I think that he has pushed us past reconciliation. The blue staters are invited by me to go their own way and leave the rest of us alone. If they hate us so much, why do they stick around? Form their own country. Good riddance. DLTDHYITA!

I hope I don't have to spend the rest of my life having to put up with these democrat/liberal/marxist haters. I am sick of them. Is there anybody out there that can get them out of my world?

The Nanny State and the Gas Can Spout (Spigot)

For the last several weeks, I have been looking for replacement Diesel (yellow) cans and spigots. All the cans I have found have the two handed spigot with a lever on the side that must be held open, a two handed operation for arthritic Old Country Boys like me, but since it normally takes another hand or two to hold the can (two if it is five or six gallons), then I need to become a Martian freak with four arms or need help from the Old Country Girl. I have been told by the local NAPA dealer that the Ass Holes at the EPA have mandated this to save the planet and that these new ones are the only ones now on the market; at a $15 - $20 premium, I might say. I believe the environmental freaks at the EPA are discriminating against arthritically disabled people. Knowing the Obamination administration, I seriously if environmental protection enters into the equation. I suspect it involves brothers-in-law or doner whales.

"When the revolution comes", or when Jim Inhofe gets his way, we will take care of this.

You know, When the ASTM promulgates a standard, the responsible author is ofte referenced by name. I think we should have the same required when any government agency promulgates a regulation, whether good or bad. At least these government "authors" can be held accountable for their stupidities.

I am going to Try

I have neglected this blog because of other pressing issues. I did not think this blog had any popularity. However, I notice that I have had quite a few visits this year. If I never make interesting postings, I cheat anyone who does visit. I know that I have been disappointed in other neglected blogs. So in the interest giving a reward for your visit, I am going to Try to make a few timely posts of items that interest me and that might provide you come good useful information.

I am thinking about providing some information about battlefield radiation survival in the event fuzzy-wuzzy gets through. I may talk a little about the Old Country Girl for those who are facing some decisions on medical implants. Speaking of decisions, I think I will explain the interactions of multiple probabilities of procedure outcomes.

The Artillery Song

Each of the Arms and Services have their own song. These songs are played during a "march in review" at a parade or muster. From Garry Owen (Armor and Cavalry), Cadets on Parade (Infantry), Essayons (Engineers), to Caissons of the Artillery. When the lord high muckety-mucks decided to elevate Caissons to the Army Song, the lyrics became meaningless and they lost the old lyrics. The following are the lyrics to Caissons, as written in the Plilippines during the Moro Rebellion:


Over hill, over dale,
We have hit the dusty trail,
And those caissons go rolling along.
“Count-er march! Right about”
Hear those wagon soldiers shout,
While those caissons go rolling along.

For it’s Hi! Hi! Hee! in the Field Artillery,
Call off your numbers loud and strong
2, 3, 4
And where-e’re we go
You will always know
That those caissons are rolling along.
(Keep ’em rolling)
That those caissons are rolling along.

To the front, day and night
Where the doughboys dig and fight
And those caissons go rolling along.
Our barrage will be there
Fired on the rocket’s glare
While those caissons go rolling a-long.
For it’s Hi! Hi! Hee! in the Field Artillery,
Call off your numbers loud and strong
2, 3, 4
And where-e’re we go
You will always know
That those caissons are rolling along.
(Keep ’em rolling)
That those caissons are rolling along.
Battery Halt!

The counter march right about were important because the field artillery cannon were pulled by horses connected to the caisson (ammunition wagon) which supported the trail of the cannon or howitzer. Artillery would enter the battle facing the enemy then counter march, every section going right about so the guns faced the enemy, and that wouldn't run into each other while doing it.

Calling off your numbers referred to the jobs of each cannoneer during the process of emplacing and shooting the piece. Each cannoneer had a number from 1 to 6 to 12 (depending on the size of the crew). Calling off their numbers announced that they were in position and ready to continue with the (fire) mission. The lower numbers were reserved for assistant gunners, loaders, fuse cutters, powder cutters, rammers, and ammunition suppliers. The other parts of the Army did not do this, so it was always an interesting occasion for other observers. This is still done today for training new cannoneers at Ft. Sill Oklahoma.